she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
