Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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