that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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