i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I wish there were birth control emojis
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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