i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
