our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
