I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
