I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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