im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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