ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
