This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
