oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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