covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
