his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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