Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
