I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
