YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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