no you cant smoke seaweed
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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