chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
