I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
