This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
