tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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