I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize