i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize