Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
