my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
