I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
