when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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