you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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