I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
