i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
