There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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