I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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