If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
