Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
