I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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