Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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