so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
