Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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