i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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