new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
