I think my vagina is haunted
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He passed out mid-signature
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize