My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
