If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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