I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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