ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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