We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
