The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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