If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
