I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize