Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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