I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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