I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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