So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
