I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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