im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
