um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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