why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
