Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
