Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm really into asian looking animals
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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