Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
