You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
