he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
