Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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