Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
