Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
your like the ambassador to my penis.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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